Part Two
In Part One, we talked about how we can serve others in our role as women of God. Today, we will talk specifically about how we can serve the guys.
In prayerfully thinking over this topic, I thought of three specific areas. These three areas are ways through which we may serve our brothers in Christ.
I. Modesty and Purity
(Refer to this post)
Modesty in dress is essential in serving and loving our brothers. However, modesty in actions is also important. Our culture encourages bold, flirtatious women, but this is not the kind of woman that God desires. I believe that God set up the relationship between man and woman, with Adam leading and Eve helping, before the Fall. Since the Fall, however, women have had to fight the tendency to “jump in and fix it”. Men have had to fight the tendency to be passive. God gives us the strength and grace to battle this inclination. With His help, women of God learn to patiently wait, and men of God learn, by His grace, when and how to pursue. Thus, if we, as women, decide to be modest in our speech and actions, as well as our dress, we will help our brothers a great deal. In the same line, we must guard and pursue purity (See Psalm 119:9)
II. Demonstrating a Gentle and Quiet Spirit (I Peter 3:1-6, especially verse 4)
As women, we must also demonstrate gentle and quiet spirits. Carolyn Mahaney has greatly encouraged me on this topic. She talks about how this “gentle and quiet spirit” does not refer to the personality, but to the heart condition. So, is your heart quietly resting in God and trusting Him? We can (and should) serve our brothers through humbly and passionately pursuing the Lord and His will.
III. Encouraging Men to be Leaders
If we demonstrate a patient, quiet attitude, this will encourage guys to be leaders. Ladies, don’t always jump in the conversation; give the guys a chance. This is such a difficult area for me, as well as for many women; we want to contribute, we want to help, we want to take control. If the conversation isn’t flowing or no activities are planned, it is our inclination to start something, to keep things going.
This is not to say that you do not have wise things to say. All of us, being uniquely created by God, have opinions, and see things in different ways. These perspectives are important. However, I encourage you, as a girl, to focus your leadership on the girls, not on mixed groups. In mixed groups, I encourage you to step back and give the guys a chance to take control. Let them volunteer to pray for the meeting, instead of shooting your hand up into the air. Also, do not discourage chivalry! Let guys be gentlemen. Let them lead. This does not mean that you should be submissive to every guy! You should be submissive to your father (when unmarried) and your husband (when married). However, we should let all guys lead, as that is their role.
So, by being women of modesty and purity, who cultivate gentle and quiet spirits, letting the guys initiate, we can encourage guys in their role as men. This is one of the key ways by which we can serve our brothers: encouraging them to be men. It is no wonder that our culture is at a loss for true men; girls have become so predatory and “independent”. This scares guys! But as long as our mindset and actions are rooted in the flesh, we can do no better than to follow fleshly tendencies. I encourage you to give this area of your life to the Lord. The three areas mentioned here are just three of many different ways by which we can serve our brothers. Ask the Lord to teach you how to serve as a woman who loves and hope in Him.
