In a “Not-So-Christian” Home

Being a daughter who fears the Lord does not depend upon having Christian (or non-Christian) parents. We are to follow Christ wherever He places us. This looks different for each of us. In this post, I’m going to share a little about His ongoing work in my life in this particular area.

My Story

Although my mom is a Christian, my dad is not. And there are many things that follow from this. For example, though I’m thankful that he is my father, my dad doesn’t have the same sense of morals that he would if he were following the Lord. He makes choices that I don’t agree with, and there are things that are particularly challenging about that. But this isn’t going to be a post about the challenges I face. We all face challenges. Instead, this is about what the Lord is teaching me in His mercy.

Sufficient Grace

First, I’m learning to rely upon the Lord’s grace more each day. I feel as though my dad is always watching me. My dad is a very critical, skeptical, person. There are so many times that I feel like a complete failure- I don’t always glorify God in my relationship with my dad. I grow bitter at different things he is doing, and it makes it hard to love him well. I hate that I cannot perfectly reflect my Savior. This has caused me more and more to stop relying on my own futile efforts and lean upon the grace of God to help me fulfill the roles He has given me. I truly am nothing. God doesn’t need me; instead, He graciously allows me to participate in His plans. I’m learning that He can save my dad with or without me. I’m learning not to dwell on my mistakes, but to repent of them, to ask for His help in turning away, and to move on. It’s hard. I feel as though I am always on display. And I fail entirely at mirroring Christ when I rely upon my own strength and think too highly of myself and my role. I must cling to the Cross, relying upon His Spirit in me. This has caused me also to dig deeper into His Word and be more constant in prayer because I’m not self-sufficient, though I often live as though I think I am. As Paul wrote, “But [the Lord] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10). Great is His faithfulness!

Trusting, Hoping, Praying

Second, I’m learning to trust the Lord. He is sovereign over all, including my dad’s life. I’m learning to pray faithfully for my dad’s salvation, as well as for my mom, sister and I to be reflections of Christ to my dad and brother. I worry a lot. But God is teaching me to cast that on Him. He is gracious in giving me faith and trust- forgiving my doubts, helping my unbelief.

God Doesn’t Make Mistakes

Third, I’m learning that God has placed me in my home, and in that is my most important role right now. I am to rejoice in my role as a sister and daughter, cheerfully obeying, continually trusting the Lord.

Hating the Sin, Loving the Sinner

Fourth (and the last thing I’ll mention now), I’m learning to be gentle and patient with my dad, not holding him up to the same standard as I do myself and other followers of Christ. I must rely on God in this area, too, asking Him for wisdom to know how I should react to Dad’s sin. This is a particularly difficult area for me right now, but God is faithful. Most importantly, He is teaching me to keep on loving my dad and serving him, as Christ does for us all.

Other Lessons

The Lord is using my home life to teach me in ways I never thought possible, as He does with all challenges He graciously allows in our lives. Though I still struggle with feelings of worthlessness, bitterness, and worry, God is teaching me to give those feelings up to Him. Through my home, God has also given me renewed understanding for those who haven’t grown up in the church with a godly mother and father. It has further encouraged me to pray for Christians in non-Christian or anti-Christian homes. The Lord gives me strength to keep on serving, as well as grace and forgiveness to come to Him when I fail. I don’t know the end to this story, but I do know it will glorify God. And in that I will rejoice.

In I Corinthians 7, after talking to the Corinthians about marriage and living with an unbelieving spouse, Paul writes,

“Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.” (vs. 17).

God has given each of us different blessings, responsibilities, and roles. Life looks different for each follower of Christ. But we are all to be following Christ in our different lives. And He is faithful to supply us with the grace that we need to serve Him wherever He places us. Praise the Lord for where He has placed you! In part, I wrote this post because I’ve been struggling with discouragement- even envy- lately because of my home situation. God is teaching me to rely upon Him, trust Him, and rejoice in Him as I cheerfully obey Him. Live the life He has called you to- joyfully, hopefully, prayerfully!

Also, I would really appreciate prayer for my dad’s and brother’s salvation, as well as prayer for myself and the rest of my family members. Thank you so much! Thanks for bearing with me through this long and jumbled post!