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“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Proverbs 31:30

I am interrupting the series on my struggle with college to bring you this quote from Beauty from the Heart. They have beautifully stated what I have been trying to say about Biblical womanhood and Christ. Instead of expounding on this idea myself, I want you to read what they have written. They express the truth with such gentleness and discernment!

“It is vital for us to remember, as beautiful as femininity, modesty, and purity are, these principles alone will not save society. They will impact society positively, but will fail in true bringing about true transformation. If we attempt to change the culture positively without Christ, we will be doing only what every other political and human-wellness group has done in the past. We will be approaching the symptoms of the problem, without addressing the heart of the issue.

Our hearts must first be changed, and within us must dwell a passionate desire to go only where God leads. We must be as Moses. With hearts so focused on Jesus that we obey out of love for Him and a desire for His glory, how could the culture not be changed?”

This quote is from a three part series. It is a portion of the third part: The Mission of Generation X. I encourage you to check out Beauty from the Heart if you have not done so!

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Part Two

In Part One, we talked about how we can serve others in our role as women of God. Today, we will talk specifically about how we can serve the guys.
In prayerfully thinking over this topic, I thought of three specific areas. These three areas are ways through which we may serve our brothers in Christ.

I. Modesty and Purity
(Refer to this post)
Modesty in dress is essential in serving and loving our brothers. However, modesty in actions is also important. Our culture encourages bold, flirtatious women, but this is not the kind of woman that God desires. I believe that God set up the relationship between man and woman, with Adam leading and Eve helping, before the Fall. Since the Fall, however, women have had to fight the tendency to “jump in and fix it”. Men have had to fight the tendency to be passive. God gives us the strength and grace to battle this inclination. With His help, women of God learn to patiently wait, and men of God learn, by His grace, when and how to pursue. Thus, if we, as women, decide to be modest in our speech and actions, as well as our dress, we will help our brothers a great deal. In the same line, we must guard and pursue purity (See Psalm 119:9)

II. Demonstrating a Gentle and Quiet Spirit (I Peter 3:1-6, especially verse 4)
As women, we must also demonstrate gentle and quiet spirits. Carolyn Mahaney has greatly encouraged me on this topic. She talks about how this “gentle and quiet spirit” does not refer to the personality, but to the heart condition. So, is your heart quietly resting in God and trusting Him? We can (and should) serve our brothers through humbly and passionately pursuing the Lord and His will.

III. Encouraging Men to be Leaders
If we demonstrate a patient, quiet attitude, this will encourage guys to be leaders. Ladies, don’t always jump in the conversation; give the guys a chance. This is such a difficult area for me, as well as for many women; we want to contribute, we want to help, we want to take control. If the conversation isn’t flowing or no activities are planned, it is our inclination to start something, to keep things going.

This is not to say that you do not have wise things to say. All of us, being uniquely created by God, have opinions, and see things in different ways. These perspectives are important. However, I encourage you, as a girl, to focus your leadership on the girls, not on mixed groups. In mixed groups, I encourage you to step back and give the guys a chance to take control. Let them volunteer to pray for the meeting, instead of shooting your hand up into the air. Also, do not discourage chivalry! Let guys be gentlemen. Let them lead. This does not mean that you should be submissive to every guy! You should be submissive to your father (when unmarried) and your husband (when married). However, we should let all guys lead, as that is their role.

So, by being women of modesty and purity, who cultivate gentle and quiet spirits, letting the guys initiate, we can encourage guys in their role as men. This is one of the key ways by which we can serve our brothers: encouraging them to be men. It is no wonder that our culture is at a loss for true men; girls have become so predatory and “independent”. This scares guys! But as long as our mindset and actions are rooted in the flesh, we can do no better than to follow fleshly tendencies. I encourage you to give this area of your life to the Lord. The three areas mentioned here are just three of many different ways by which we can serve our brothers. Ask the Lord to teach you how to serve as a woman who loves and hope in Him.

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It is a common idea that Biblical femininity is only something to be practiced in marriage. I, too, have been guilty of this thinking. However, though you may be preparing to be a godly wife one day, you can also practice Biblical femininity right where you are. In this two part series, we will first discuss the role of a woman (that of a helpmeet) and how it applies to all those around her. Then, we will discuss how women may serve God through their relationships with men, whether married or single.

Part One
Biblical femininity is being a woman of the Lord. Obviously, to serve the Lord, you do not have to be married. God does not call every one of us to marriage; nor does He call every one of us to singleness. Women, despite their marital status, can provide valuable help to those around them, both male and female. Christians are imitators of Christ (literally, “Christian” means “little Christ”. See also Colossians 3:10; Romans 8:29). Christ had a servant’s heart. “Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Matthew 6:24 “And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” Mark 9:35
Thus, to be Christians, we must serve and love others.

This serving and loving applies to all Christians, both men and women. Looking at our world, we see hurt and pain everywhere, tangible results of the Fall. As Christians, we cannot fix all of these problems. Instead, through the Spirit, we can seek to eliminate some of the pain, pointing others to the One who can save and fully heal, Jesus Christ. One way that God has equipped women to deal with this pain is by making them (in general) more compassionate and sensitive than men. This is part of their being the weaker vessel. In this world, we need leaders who can help fix problems, but we also need those who will show love and compassion. Both traits are necessary.

The best way to show some ways we can serve the Lord as women is by looking at the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31. She helped in ways that do not necessarily imply marriage.

First, the virtuous woman was never idle (verse 27). She was constantly doing things for her family, and ultimately, for God. She was willing to work and did much work with her hands(verse 13, 21-33). She was strong and intelligent. This virtuous woman was wise, not by the world’s standards, but by God’s. This applies to any schooling you are doing! The Lord wants us to learn things that will help us to serve Him better. In addition to being wise, the woman of Proverbs 31 made valuable contributions to her home (verses 16-17). Her eyes were open to the pain around her, and she sought to lovingly care for the poor and needy (verse 20). In verse 24, we learn that she sold her linen garments; she had a type of “small business”. In verse 26, we see that the Proverbs 31 woman was kind and wise with her words. This reveals her beautiful heart (Matthew 12:34). This is an area that we can all probably work on; I know that I can.

Thus, we see the ways in which a godly woman helped. All of us, whether young or old, single or married, can learn from her example. Her diligent, loving efforts were not in vain.
The most incredible quality, however, of the Proverbs 31 woman (and of any woman) is that she exemplified this verse:

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Proverbs 31:30

May this be the aspiration of all of us! Biblical femininity is not some system of rules or legalistic morality; it is about honoring and serving God in your role as a woman. If you are doing this, then you are practicing Biblical femininity. This is true and lasting beauty!

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“Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.”
I Corinthians 11:11-12

Before we begin with the regular posting on this site, a brief explanation is necessary. Biblical femininity is a beautiful, precious thing. Biblical femininity, simply defined, is woman following the role that God has given specifically to woman, her role as a helpmeet (specifically to man, but really, woman is to be a helpmeet to all those around her). Biblical womanhood thus encourages men in the role that God has given specifically to man. There are hundreds of books, blogs, and articles that have good definitions of Biblical femininity. Soon, we will have a list of some of these in our recommended resources. For now, I want to state two things, one about myself, and the other about this blog.

First, I am not stating (or even implying) that I have Biblical femininity figured out, nor do I live it out perfectly. I am a sinner, justly deserving God’s wrath, but because of Christ, given His free mercy. Anything good in me is His work, not my own.
In light of this, “Created to be a Help” will be my reflections, encouragement, and applications of Biblical femininity. However, I am not perfect, and this blog will not be perfect either. I encourage your comments and thoughts! Most of what is on this blog is the ideas and opinions I have learned from others who are much wiser than I am.

Secondly, there are two things that I want the reader to realize about Biblical femininity.
1. Woman needs man. Please do not think Biblical femininity is some sort of “Girl Power” idea. Yes, women are strong, capable, and intelligent. However, women are not more important, more valuable, or more necessary than men. Women are the weaker vessel. “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the women as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (I Peter 3:7) Women are weaker than men in certain ways, but that is how God created woman! Woman needs man to protect, strengthen, and provide. However, this is not to say that woman is a poor, helpless, or defenseless creature! It is to say that God created her with a different purpose that man. This brings us to our second point.
2. Man needs woman. In Genesis 2, God saw that man needed a helper. So, He created Eve out of Adam’s side. He was to love and cherish her, providing for her, and she was to honor and love him, supporting his efforts. Think back to the many wonderful stories of knights and their ladies. Many a noble knight was inspired and given special strength in battle at the thought of his fair lady. That is only one example of how woman affects man. God created her to support him, and he needs her support, just as she needs his leadership.

One may think of the relationship between man and woman and the kingdom of God as a jigsaw puzzle. The puzzle itself represents the kingdom of God and His plan. Half of the pieces have only indentations. The other half have only tabs that stick out. If we only have the indented pieces, the puzzle will be incomplete. If we have only the pieces with tabs, the puzzle will be incomplete. Both types of pieces are vital to complete the puzzle so that the puzzle will fit together and be a beautiful work instead of a jumbled mass of pieces.

Thus, man needs woman, and woman needs man. This is a complementary relationship. It is a beautiful picture. Some have compared it to the relationship of the Trinity. When man and woman are united (joined together in marriage, specifically), it is a beautiful, powerful relationship. This is a very brief synopsis of the relationship between man and woman.

In summary, this blog, though it is not perfect, is intended to encourage and inspire. It is to be a place where the ideal of Biblical manhood and Biblical womanhood is upheld. Most importantly, the purpose of this blog is to glorify God and give thanks to Him for how He has created man and woman- in His image. Man and woman have different roles, but when both (necessary) roles are performed, the kingdom of God is furthered in a spectacular way.

The idea of Biblical manhood and womanhood goes against the grain of what our culture believes. Ever since the fall, sin tries to make woman crave independence and man to lay aside his important role as a leader. Only Christ has power over sin. Thus we must look to Him in order to understand and fulfill our roles as women and men of God. It is only by His grace that we comprehend this. It is only by His grace that we may live it out in our daily lives!

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Welcome!

Welcome to the new home (and new name) of “A Daughter of the King”. This blog was created to help and encourage young women to pursue Biblical femininity. The central idea of this blog is that woman was created to be a help-meet (helper) to man. On this blog, we will discuss various aspects of Biblical womanhood. In a few days, we hope to have it up and running.

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